tomato salads, easy, sweet, kid-friendly

It's tomato time. Cut up tomatoes, a drizzle of sweet balsamic and maybe some olive oil. You can add basil, salt and pepper, fresh mozzarella...

M has always liked this. Introduce it early. It's a great lunch item in a little tupperware with a fork...
reminder, I am out of town...

when to throw out the milk, the Chinese food?

Still Tasty answers all your food safety questions. I've spent some time surfing around and learned some great tips! Go to the FAQ section. Did you know you can freeze fresh eggs, and yogurt is generally safe for over a week after the use by date? Check it out.

i am out of town....

the aspirations we have for our little girls... depressing

Girls book of Glamour. A Guide to being a godess..

(Girl in the tub scrubbing her dainty, surely 'fiercely' polished toes...)

The Boys Book of Greatness, how you can be the best at everything... (boy playing hockey)

This in the tween section at Target.

Ugh. This makes me crazy, but doesn't surprise. Anyone who has been shopping in the traditional toy stores see "girls" items: dress-up princess clothes, "heel-highs" as M calls them, slutty looking dolls, make-up kits, spa-play, tiny compact mirrors, cell-phones. The most active her make-believe roles might get is to make-over animals at the puppy salon, or be a contestant on American Idol...

I am out of town... Will try to reply to comments when I get back...

Boys on the other hand can be fire-men, police, work in construction, sports, rockets, etc. (OK, so there isn't really the accountant or MBA action figure, but their roles and fantasy lives are not encouraged to be based solely on their looks and outer appearance.)

It seems to be getting worse, it seems unstoppable. It makes me sad. It makes sense that most tween girls are dieting when they have been fed a steady intake of body-image damaging and distorting garbage from birth it seems... Sorry for the rant.

do you know what goes on at your child's school/daycare?

Is your child being fed well at school, or are the feeding practices there making things worse. Recently I shared that M's camp doesn't follow the Division of Responsibility. You know, making the kids eat all their "real" food before they can earn the treat. My friend also disclosed that her son was coming back from his school with his "treats" because he wasn't eating enough of the arbitrary amount that the 22 year old counselors thought was enough for him to earn dessert. (Sorry for the snarkiness, but this is not OK.)
A recent article in the Journal for Nutrition Education videod several early childhood providers and their interactions with the kids around food.

There were TEN TIMES as many verbal cues and pressure episodes to eat more, or different foods that did not take into account or encourage the child to eat based on internal sensations of hunger and fullness. (380 vs 38...) There was lots of "two more bites of this" and "you can eat your dessert when..."

Remember that over time, children can be fed in a way that overrides and burries their internal cues which means they are likely to eat more or less then they need.

picky eating, size concerns: "don't worry about it" means different things to different people

A mom called me to talk about her teen who has been eating -almost exclusively- microwaved lean pockets for 7 years. At every doctor's visit she was told not to worry about it, that it was fairly nutritious, and he would likely grow out of it. A young pediatrician recently wrote in (A., I read your comment but couldn't find it when I needed to post! Sorry) to say when parents come to her with picky eating complaints, she too tells them not to worry. I probably gave similar advice ('mac-n-cheese is fine! Just add a multivitamin!) when I was a new doc.

I look back now at how naive I was, how misinformed, and how unhelpful ultimately to so many parents. You see, I grew up with structure, family meals, enough money for a wide variety of foods that were largely presented in a pleasant atmosphere free of pressure. (I think part of me assumed that was happening in most homes.) I had no training in feeding other than how to concentrate formula and calculate calorie needs for the "feeders and growers" in the neonatal ward, and I didn't have my own kids. (OK, a few lectures on breast-feeding and perhaps a review of a handout about starting solids, always the what, never the HOW to feed...)

In short I had no idea how many families struggle with feeding, how many moms truly agonize over intake or a child's size. I had no idea how many of the moms I was seeing had themselves struggled with eating and were terrified of feeding their child. I didn't know how normal it was for most families to feed children one meal (often the same meal of macaroni and cheese and nuggets) and feed themselves later, and how much energy went into trying to get the kids to eat more or different foods. I didn't know that most of these picky kids were "good eaters" early on but systematically coned down to an accepted menu of brown and beige foods because parents didn't know how to handle normal feeding stages, or fed out of worry over nutrition or size (see last few paragraphs of that post.)

I didn't know that most feeding advice (if parents got any) was counterproductive. I didn't know that most folks today (kids included) seem to graze most of the day. I had no idea how much pain and conflict was inflicted in the name of weight and nutrition. (The moms who call crying because a child is refusing to eat and is losing weight, or another child is showing markedly disordered behaviors at age 7...)

OK, back from "tangent land."

point 1) your doctor might not have a clue. There, I said it. I didn't have a clue.

point 2) your doctor may be giving you bad advice. Again, I did...

point 3) health care providers, be careful about saying, "Don't worry about it" in terms of picky eating or odd eating behaviors.

More on "don't worry"

for health care providers and parents, just to make it extra confusing :)

First you need to ask more questions about feeding. A normal weight or growth curve should not give false confidence that feeding is going well. As a parent, if you see a health care provider and you're worried, and you are not getting your concerns addressed, ask yourself some more questions, get help... (Or if you get advice that sounds off like, "Just serve beef and green beans for 3 days, he'll learn to like it..." don't give up!)

Docs, ask: (moms, ask yourselves...)

How is feeding going?

How do you/I feel about feeding?

Are you/we eating meals as a family?

Do you/I struggle with eating?

Do you/I continue to offer a variety of foods?

Are you/we getting into battles around food?

Are you/we worried about your/our child's size?

Are you/we familiar with or following the Division of Responsibility?

Because, "don't worry about it" might be just the right advice for a family that is otherwise doing well with feeding. Support and optimize good feeding practices.

But –and here is the sad part– a family that is really struggling who is told, "don't worry about it," as is often the case, is a missed opportunity. It is much easier to turn around a feeding issue when a child is 5, vs 15... "Don't worry about it" to some means, keep serving mac-n-cheese and nuggets every night so you don't have to fight about is as much. Keep bribing and pressuring, keep worrying. And maybe 5, or 20 years go by (seriously) where the child only eats 5 foods, or maybe the dieting starts or the disordered eating...

Ask the feeding questions, optimize best feeding, educate yourself (Child of Mine should be required reading in all med schools as far as I'm concerned...) or at least have some titles or handouts you can refer parents to. Don't worry, but do have family meals, do offer variety, don't feed with pressure, do eat foods you enjoy, and follow up.

Moms, have you been told, "don't worry about it?" Did you still worry? What wacky advice have you gotten about your feeding concerns? From whom? Family? Docs?

heading out of town soon...

On Sunday, I leave town for just over two weeks and will be gone with work and family visits much of the rest of the summer. I was wondering what you think about a few ideas while I'm gone.

1) post a few oldies but goodies...

2) post a few from my draft pile with mostly recipes and food ideas

3) take a vacation

I don't want to miss out on any great discussions, but I don't want to just cut everyone loose for two weeks.

Either way, I hope you'll be back! Consider signing up on FACEBOOK (fan Family Feeding Dynamics) so you don't miss when I get back into the swing of things, or sign up to follow with an RSS, or whatever system you use!

savory and sweet, the waffle bar

These were so good last weekend! We made waffles (home-made) and served them with ham and cheese and also with maple syrup. it solved my perennial breakfast dilemma-salty or sweet?

We put about 1/3 cup mix, then sprinkled some sliced ham and shredded Jarlsburg cheese into the middle, then put another 1/3 cup or so on top and cooked. It took a little more time than the usual. I could also have regular ones. This was yummy and fun! (Your waffle iron may need different amounts...)

M's immediate reaction was to reject the new waffles. We said, "You don't have to eat anything you don't want to," put both kinds on a platter and went about enjoying breakfast. About half way through, she served herself a quarter of a ham and cheese one and ate it. She said she didn't like it, which is fine. Kids will often reject foods. If you can remain neutral and leave the control up to them (serve foods family style) chances are they will be more likely to try something new or previously rejected.

I think this would be yummy with leek and potato soup in the winter. I actually found myself missing winter and all the wonderful food that you just don't want to cook when it's 90 degrees...

Basic Waffle recipe from Joy of Cooking

preheat iron

whisk together in large bowl

1 3/4 cups AP flour

1 Tbspn baking powder

1 Tbspn sugar

1/2 tspn salt

whisk together in another bowl

3 large eggs, well-beaten

4-16 Tablespoons (4 is "low-fat", 16 is crunchiest, we use about 6-8) MELTED

1 1/2 cups milk (we have 1%)

We pour the wet into dry and just mix until dry ingredients are gone. there should be lumps...

What sounds good to put into your waffles? Might a waffle bar be a fun way to introduce your little ones to different things? You can cut them into quarters and share! What have you stuffed into waffles? I had this when I was a little girl in Switzerland visiting family. It made an impression!